Navigating a Mine Field

Whether you are playing poker on-line, or in a large tournament full of players you're not familiar with, it is crucial to pay very close attention to every player at your table to try and figure out what type of player they are. The general rule is that you try and play the opposite style from the rest of the table, so if the table is playing very tight and conservative, it's time to bluff and steal some pots. Conversely, if it's a very loose table, full of bluffers and overly aggressive players, just sit back, wait to make a good hand, and let them throw their money at you.

But what do you do, when you sit down at your table and think to yourself "Hey, I'm the only one who knows what the hell is going on... oh crap!"

Some players might look forward to this opportunity, believing that this table would be easy to run over, but from my experience, I would much rather play at a table full of players who know what they are doing. I call it Navigating a Mine Field, because in poker terms that's how it feels. Like every hand could be your last.

Here's a few common indicators that you are surrounded by landmines.

The most common version of these weak players will quote a few lines from Rounders, may even reference some poker they saw on tv, and may briefly have you convinced that he knows what he's doing. Then you see him play. He will call pre-flop bets with garbage, and in fact will probably play almost every hand dealt to him early on. When you actually see the cards they play (and they'll generally show every hand, win or lose, because they don't know they don't have to show and they're honestly not sure if they won or not until someone says something) you'll realize that they were just hoping to make a hand, it wasn't based on any sound principles or statistical logic.

If they are questioned on a hand that they won where they obviously got lucky after making bad plays, they will say things like "we're gambling, you can't win if you don't play" or "There always seems to be 2 kings on the flop, so I couldn't fold a king preflop".

Point out how badly they played on a hand they lost, and you'll likely hear the reply "I thought for sure he was bluffing" or "I had a pocket pair, you can't fold those". Win or lose, they will always try to justify their poor play, but to anyone who knows how to play poker, they will be as transparent as the glass of Vodka usually sitting beside them as they play.

The most annoying guy to play with is the guy who is truely clueless. Not only has he no idea what he's doing at the table, but he doesn't even give the courtesy of paying attention. You have to keep nudging him on the arm to get his attention, then explain to him what has happened so far in the hand, then tell him what his options are. They are the most frustrating, especially in a tournament format when the blinds are raising rapidly and you're on a short stack. They don't realize how inconsiderate they are, so any attempt you make to hurry them up is seen as being rude, and probably will only encourage them to play slower and stupider.

The commonality for all weak players is that they don't understand the odds, nor do they understand the etiquette. They will act out of turn, not realizing that this could be important information to other players. They will make illegal bets, they will talk about the cards they folded during the hand and they will likely need instruction on how to deal when it's their turn.

The most dangerous player of this ilk is the player who knows they're being fishy. They actually have more poker knowledge than their play would indicate, but for whatever reason, they just don't care about playing an intelligent game. They will chase every straight and flush draw, no matter what the bet or the odds, and just hope to get lucky. Maybe at one point they even tried playing poker smartly, but probably took a series of bad beats, and just decided to play for fun, winning would happen if it were "in the cards". These players have another advantage, because they know what type of player you are, and can take advantage of that. More than anyone else else, these players can make or break a tournament, because their insane play will either lead to their early elimination, or for someone else.

The common theme amongst these various types of players is that they really don't know or care about how badly they are playing, so you can rarely be certain about what hole cards they have. They could have limped in with 5 other players holding AA, or they could call a massive preflop raise with Q2.

Personally, I haven't figured out how navigate such a situation. 1 or 2 players can be avoided, but when it's clear you're up against a large group of fishy players, I think it's best just to stick to the most simple of strategies. Play a tight, aggressive game, and hope like hell that if they decide to chase, you don't get hurt too badly.