Poker Etiquette 101

As an experienced poker player, there’s nothing more annoying than playing at a table with a rookie. Rookies are sometimes known to call your all-in with 9-7 off-suit because the first time they had sex was in ‘97, and therefore it‘s their “lucky hand“. They’re also prone to claiming that a straight beats a flush, and despite the fact that everyone at the table agrees with you, they still need to see a “Rules of Poker” card to be convinced.

If you’re shaking your head, painfully recalling similar situations, I am truly sorry. Nothing can ruin a night of poker more than a player, or even worse, multiple players, who clearly have no idea what they’re doing. Not only are they often frustrating, rookies can be very dangerous too.

Poker is a game of luck and skill, so even when you catch a rookie making a bad play, they can easily find themselves raking in the chips when they hit a miracle river card. Even worse, when this happens, they now feel they’re an expert, and begin to offer you advice on how to play poker.

I once played against a first-timer, who began critiquing my play 5 minutes into his first real poker game. It was very frustrating, but I quickly learned to to deal with it by outplaying him time and time again. Unphased by the fact that my arms were getting sore from raking in all his chips, he continued to state “I can read you like a book”. Sadly, owning your own copy of Rounders, or watching poker on TV does NOT make you a good poker player.

Aside from making obviously moronic plays, or not being aware of the rules, there’s more ways that a rookie player can make even the most hardcore poker player pull out his hair in frustration. (At least, that’s my current excuse for baldness.)

Know when it’s your turn - No one wants to constantly remind you that it’s your turn to play. It’s ok to be watching a nearby TV, but make sure that when it’s your turn, you’re ready to go.

Know what to do when it’s your turn - Be aware of what the blind levels are, so when you look at your hole cards to see pocket Aces, you’ll know how much you should raise. Also, be aware of how many people have entered the hand, and if any of them have raised.

Don’t splash the pot - Don’t just randomly scatter your chips in the middle of the table. When you make a bet or call one, first, state you intentions verbally. Count out the appropriate amount of chips, placing them in front of you, but not mixed in with the rest of the chips. This way, anyone questioning how much you’ve bet can easily see the chips, or ask the dealer to count them.

Don’t take too long - You may have seen players on TV taking a few minutes to make a decision, but keep in mind their decision may mean the difference of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Some decisions do take a while to make, no matter what the stakes are, you want to make the right decision, just make sure you’re actually thinking about your decision, and not trying to milk the time because you want everyone to think you had a really good hand, when you actually had rags.

Keep your highest valued chips in plain sight - You may think you’re being sneaky, but this one is not only bad etiquette, it’s against the rules too.

Don’t talk about your cards until the hand is over - I don’t know how many times I’ve been in a hand when the flop is dealt, and a player who folded pre-flop groans in disgust, or whispers to someone beside them “I would have flopped a straight”. That’s too bad for you, but you’re reaction may now affect how the rest of the hand is played. Poker is a game of information, and players not in the current hand should have zero affect on the outcome.

Finally, be polite - You don’t have to be everyone’s best friend, after all, you are trying to take their money. A jerk who joins a home game and wins never gets another invite, whereas the nice guy has the opportunity to win even more money next time.

More than anything else, try to have fun, make sure you play within your limits and be respectful of the other players.